All Their Words

5-7-07 Dear Ryan, Good morning my love. I just wanted to say that I am sorry for how crazy and stressed I have been. On many occasions you probably wanted to just get on a plane and leave. Thank you for staying. I am sorry that last night I made it harder to sleep with me than in a room that smelt like a burning styrofoam pit. I know that I am and always will be a difficult person, but I also know that I love you. I don't think I could ever forgive myself if I lost my chance with you! You mean the world to me and I could never find someone as wonderful as you again! Please bear with me and know that I will love you until the end of time!                              Love,   Katie

 Ryan, I love you and can't wait to see you, hold you, kiss you and make sure you know what you mean to me. T.J.

 Ryan ~ I don't know what you want me to say. I don't understand why you are upset, or what I did. But I think you are wonderful. I really can't explain how I feel about you. Everything about you and about us excites me and scares me at the same time. Every time I am alone with you, I know I shouldn't be. But anytime I am away from you, you plague my mind and all I can think about is when I see you next. I am sorry about the cigarette issue. I want to be with you, I want to kiss you, but the taste is too strong for me. Please don't be mad. I wish I could explain everything for you, but I myself don't understand completely. I want to just say to heck with everything & let myself admit what I am feeling, but I can't & I won't. Like you said, with you & I both leaving there is no point in getting any deeper than we have. I know these are very scattered thoughts, but that is the way I think.  I love the way you make me smile & I love the way ...

 Ryan, I wish I was star of the week. You're real lucky! I wanted to be star of the week. I haven't been star of the week since the beginning of the year. Jeremy L

 Ryan, Is it nice to be star of the week? I don't know cuz I'm always bad. You should try it sometime. What's it feel like to be good? What did one star say to the other? Who's the new comer? Get it? You're star of the week. I do that to break the ice. JT Lowe

  My Dearest Ryan, I hope you know how much I love you! I love to see you with our Noah, being a Daddy just comes so natural to you. I am sorry if I ever make you feel that you aren't doing enough, because you are doing so much! I am so proud of you for going back to school, & I know you will be a great psychologist & help so many people. Thank you for being so wonderful! As both a father & a husband. I couldn't ask for better for Noah & I. Love You to Pieces! Katie

  Dear Ryan, What's up? Nothing's going up! How are you? So is there anything going on in your life? Nothing good in my life. So do you like math? Do you like reading? Do you like Science, or do you like Social Studies? Well, I don't like any of those subjects! You must think I hate you. Well, here's the truth: Really I think you're ok. For a friend!! Stay Cool, Sloan B.

Ryan, Hello my Love! Sorry it has taken me so long to get a letter sent. I will try to be better. :) I think about you all the time though. I am going to stick to my tradition and get you something from every place I go. I will try to do magnets if I can find them, but sometimes it might be things like seashells from the beach. This seashell is from Pasa Grille Beach, my first beach since coming. There is also a "surprise" from the airport in Albuquerque, N.M. and one from John's Pass. That is where we went on Sunday with the kids. It was a big pirate celebration and the kids loved it! I got myself a ring and a key chain, you will have to see them. I hope you are able to decide what you want to do this Summer. I am sorry that is stressing you out. :( No matter what you choose to do, or where you go, just look for the things that will make you happy. Keep up with the writing too. So I made it through my first semester... not a bad one though. If they are bad the family wou...

7-18-06 Hello Ryan! Just thinkin about you and thought I'd say hi... Hi! So, thanks for the little afternoon surprise today, it was very nice! I'm sure we won't have any trouble passing time when I visit... I hope that's not all we do though. :) That sounds like a reasonable idea about your car. I'm sure it would break your Mother's heart though, you've barely had it a year. But you do have a good point. I still can't believe I was offered a job as a music teacher! I never thought that was possible at this point in my life, it's amazing how things work out. I'm sure that things will work out for you too. I hope that we will be together someday, but you never can tell. One of us would have to take a big risk for that... actually, we both would.  But it might be a risk that's worth it. :) I Love You! ~ Katie

 Ryan, I've got some words for you, you rotten ungrateful developing man baby.  After you get what you want you don't want it anymore. I'd give you the moon but you'd get tired of that soon. You're just like a child, you want what you want when you want it, but then when it's given to you you're discontented.  You're always wanting and wishing for something and when you get that something you don't want it. I could sit on your knee but I fear you would soon grow tired of me. You've got this changeable nature, always changing your mind.  You've got this look in your eye that I cannot satisfy. I don't want to make you blue but you need a good talking to, because after you get what you want you don't want what you wanted at all. You can't fool me, I can see right straight through you. I hope someday you get all that you want, so you'll find that you'll never be happy with enough.  Luke

   Ryan, I'm glad you're star of the week. I think you are a nice person. I like the sweater you are wearing. I like your Trapper Keeper. How old are you? What's your favorite color?? Well, it's been nice talking to ya. Sarah Nelson

Ryan, I can see who you are, you're one who sometimes cannot sleep at night because your soul doesn't know peace. You're the kind that looks for beautiful things in the darkness because that's where your soul has spent some time, in the darkness. You're the kind that love the wolves because you don't fear them. You are the type to play the same old love songs over and over, just so you can feel all of the emotions all over again. You'll wake up each day and slap a smile on your face for the sake of all those around you, just so no one knows the sadness you carry inside. But I see you, as one who struggles to wake up and fight each day. You're one who has more bad days than good under your belt, and you still get up and try with everything you have, even though you want to give up and give in. I can see you, wanting to live the ultimate fairy tale when life has only delivered you material for a nightmare. I hope you never lose that spark I can see burning...

 Jessi , I don't have much time to write this, so I'll just get to the point. How are you feeling? Better I hope. Kitty isn't still upset with me is she? Of course I can't blame her, that was a bad move on my part. But what really upset me was the fact that I told you I would go to that round for you, and didn't. I'm sorry. I don’t think I'll go this weekend. Maybe the next meet. I feel confident with my piece, but not about other things. So, um, I guess that's it. Don’t worry about writing back, you never have before. Smile for me. Ryan P.S. ~ The sun is always shining above the clouds. 

 Just a little note... Mr. Ryan,  You have made me very happy.  You are a beautiful soul and I am honored to have you in my life.  I love you, Tom