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Scattered Thoughts

 Ryan ~

I don't know what you want me to say. I don't understand why you are upset, or what I did. But I think you are wonderful. I really can't explain how I feel about you. Everything about you and about us excites me and scares me at the same time. Every time I am alone with you, I know I shouldn't be. But anytime I am away from you, you plague my mind and all I can think about is when I see you next.

I am sorry about the cigarette issue. I want to be with you, I want to kiss you, but the taste is too strong for me. Please don't be mad.

I wish I could explain everything for you, but I myself don't understand completely. I want to just say to heck with everything & let myself admit what I am feeling, but I can't & I won't. Like you said, with you & I both leaving there is no point in getting any deeper than we have. I know these are very scattered thoughts, but that is the way I think. 

I love the way you make me smile & I love the way you make me laugh & I love the way you look when you're thinking. I love that you tell me things & I love the way you have begun to trust me. I love the way I still blush when you look at me. I love the way you express yourself when you write. I love the intensity of your eyes & how they change with your mood.

 And most of all I love the fact that I cannot give this to you anymore, because I said too much.

                  ~ KJK

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