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Dark Corners

To My Friend,

It's night again and I start to wonder how I became who I am and why. People often ask me what dark secrets are hidden under my mysterious, hooded eyes. I shall never know everything that lies hidden. That is the way it should be always. Even now, I myself can not remember all of what had happened in order for me to become who I am now. Still there is the strange but strong yearning to remember it all. Sometimes I figure it is all in my head, like a bad dream. But I must not be making it all up. Things, events, match up way too easy. I often fear that one night when I have come close to the truth they will stop me for good. Even now I can feel them hiding in the dark corners of my room, waiting for me. For my weakest moments when no one can hear my screams. When I'm alone, when no one is home to hear me scream. I'm blessed that my loving guardian angel is there to protect me while I sleep. But I'm still afraid of them, and the secret they want to keep hidden from me. Although it sounds like the fears of a normal ordinary scared cat. But it's only natural if you had gone through what I did. The past is the past and there is no way to go back and change it. I still wonder what I could have done to stop myself from getting to the place I am now. I have to become stronger than I was no more than a year ago.

7-14-96

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