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Worth Salvaging

Dear Ryan,

Hey Honey! How's it going? Good I hope. Ryan, I miss you so much. You have no idea. I think of you all the time. Every day. I just miss us, but we are not the people we once were. You've changed so much that I just don't know you anymore. I have, too. I look at the world in a totally different way then I used to. I am so proud of myself for what I have become. As bad as I thought this pregnancy was, I'm glad it happened. I was headed down the wrong road, and it stopped me from becoming everything I hate about my brothers. It makes me feel like God thought I was worth salvaging. I had to be stopped, and I'm thankful that I was being watched, and even blessed by the Lord. Like the old saying goes, "The Lord works in mysterious ways." I think that's how it goes. Well, Kyle leaves for home tomorrow. I'm going to miss him a lot. He really pulled me through when I needed someone. He's been a true friend. I feel bad that I couldn't be more for him, but I won't take that step until I know I'm ready. Poor guy. He tried to kiss me again a few weeks ago, and I totally freaked out on him. It was too fast for me. I can't handle that kind of relationship right now. Anywayz. The baby and I are doing great. We had a small scare last week when the iron in my blood dropped down below 9%, (Normal is 11%) but in the morning it was up to 11.74%. Pretty good! I also have a doctor's appointment on Monday. Part of my weekly excitement. Ryan, it's so cool, the baby moves so much now. If I put my hand on my belly I can feel him kick. (It has to be a boy!) Sometimes he gets his foot and knee stuck and pokes out of my stomach until I push it back in. It's so gross looking. It feels cool though. Well, that's my life. I miss you. Please write soon! I'm dying to hear from you. Ryan, I know I don't usually come out and say this, but I really do love you. With all my heart and soul. You're the love of my life, but I'm just so scared. Sorry. PLEASE WRITE BACK!!!

Love Always,

Rita Rosalita

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