All Their Words

 Ryan and Joe, Hey you two, just had to ask you something... 'What the hell do you think I am, tall?!?!' I'm not a monkey, or Heidi. Ha Ha, that's not funny! ❤️ you guys  Sandi 

 Dear Ryan, I hope you have a fun night. I know it's gonna be hard, but you can do it, I swear. I will see you in the AM @ 5. I swear Joe ain't mean. He is a really good worker, so I know you will be trained good. So I guess I will see you. Heart + U B•F•F• ❤️ ~ Margret P.S. Just ask Joe what you can eat!

 RyRy, I came to see you. You must not be awake. The cockles of my heart are frozen over. I have to go see an apartment at 3. If you wake up before then, come see me. ❤️ Sandi

RyRy & Joe Joe Hey you two!! Well I hope you guys have a great night. But, hey, there are two bowls in the reach in, one milk and one chicken. Could you please put it out for the kittie? Just so it can have something to eat, if you can, just put it out when you get here. Thank you so much!  ❤️ you both Thanks for everything you do in the kitchen, you two are the best!! ❤️ Sandi Cheeks

  Joe & RyRy Hey, there is some kittie food in the reach in. Well, chicken and milk. Could you please put it out for me?! Thank you! ❤️ Sandi P.S. Please give me a wake up call!

  Jan 12 03 Dear Ryan, Hello hun, what have you been up 2? Nothing much here. I just miss everyone one except you. J/K. I think you're the one I think about the most. You know, all the fun me and you had together. Like sitting in JB's, just me and you for six hours... Killing a crow and squirrel in my car. Going to Black Bridge and almost getting killed by Squaw Snatch. Then I needed to talk to you and we went and got ten dollars and us a big jug of our favorite vodka drink. We had it in the car drinking it away and I asked you what you were doing, and you said, "I'm trying to convince my mouth that my stomach wants it..." And the day you spiked my coffee in JB's, that was the day you killed the crow in my car... I miss singing stupid songs. "I wish I had a... I wish I had a... Oh coffee how I love you!!" Then having our 'fun' with Dana, the time we cleaned Amy's place with me saying "help!" all the time. Then on your birthday w...

  My dear sweet Ryan, From the moment you were born, a path had been laid for you that would create a wealth of experience and nurture what's good and true. On this winding path, unique to you, many encounters would be made. Some would join and walk awhile, although few, ever really stayed. Through each life that touched on ours, we learned lessons, good and bad. Sharing laughter, facing storms, finding light in both the happy and sad. And as we progress further along the path we have come to realise each day, that there really were no mistakes as such, each lesson a blessing, sent our way. So we eventually understand this path is really just a test, and with every obstacle and challenge we are learning to live at our best. So cherish every encounter, embrace the friends that come and go. For on this beautiful journey, it's love that helps us grow. The Universe 

Brother Ryan Luke Jevne, in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, by the authority of the holy priesthood which I bear, and by further authority of having been ordained patriarch in the Asheville stake of Zion, I now place my hands upon your head and give you your patriarchal blessing. Brother Jevne, our Heavenly Father is pleased that you have come this day to receive further guidance through your patriarchal blessing. He is pleased that you have accepted the calling that you have in the church, that you are doing your best to help reactivate members who at this time are not active in the church. Many are not living the gospel, but as you and others in the elders quorum do your best to get these people to come back to church you will have success in this great endeavor. You will be blessed with other callings in the church in your life. I bless you to know that your Heavenly Father is also pleased that you have come to this area of the country which those of us here call the mission fi...

  Dreams Why do those dreams haunt you? I want to know what I can do, So that I can help you. No matter what it takes, I would do, So a good nights' rest would come to you. If I could I would bring your dreams to me, Far away and not haunting you.  I wish I could do something good for you. Returning all that you have done for me. But taking your dreams away, Is something I cannot do. I'm so sorry for what I can not do, And that I cannot help you. S.W.  Jan. 11, 2003  

 Ryan,  The hardest thing you’ll ever have to do is believe in yourself again after everything’s fallen apart.⁠ When life shakes you like that, it’s easy to lose your faith. In yourself. In people. In the path you are on.⁠ It gets quiet, heavy and lonely. It can feel like no one really sees or understands what you’re going through. I need you to hear me on this.⁠ There’s still something in you that hasn’t quit. That light, it’s never gone out, it’s never left you. It’s always been there when you need it the most.⁠ ⁠You can call it hope, or strength, or stubbornness. I’ve called it resilience, and it’s gotten me through hell.⁠ You don’t have to figure everything out. Just get quiet enough to remember who you are. That will take you where you need to go. Who you are has helped you get through every single thing that’s ever come your way.⁠ You’ve made it this far, that counts, that matters.⁠ So take a breath. Then just find one reason to keep going and hold onto that. That’s will...

 Hey Ry Ry, Just wanted to drop you a line and see how you are doing! Haven't heard from you in a long time. Well, five days seems like a long time... I am about done reading the Book of Romans. Started it last night and couldn't put it down and studied all night, forgot to sleep. You should read it... Well, God is really doing a work out on the Rez. On Tuesday we had to deal with demons, so instead of having Bible Study and prayer we only had four Crave members. But we all went to the altar and picked up a burden for someone and we picked up more than one! It was very powerful, wished you could have been there! We did one drama, "Why Do You Run?" Heidi was the main one and me and LuLu were the bad friends! It was good! RyRy, I know your favorite song is "Why Do You Run?" So here it is, track five from the Drama CD: Why do you run? Why do you hide? Don't you know I just want to be with you, to be with you... Looking down from above as you watch the TV, w...

 My Ryan You mean the world to me. Happy Anniversary You have made my life so much fuller. I love you. T. 💙 

My Sweet Ryan, Look at my face, I know the years are showing. Look at this life, I still don't know where it's going. I don't know much, but I know I love you. That may be all I need to know. Your Tom Cat

  Dear Noah and Valerie, Good Morning! I love you so much! I am getting Daddy so that he can go get help. I will see you soon! Love you to the moon, sun and stars & back again! Love,       Mommy

 Ryan,  I pray my Son receives everything he's been working so hard for. I've seen the effort, the sacrifice and the determination he carries everyday, and I know how much it means to him. May every late night, every struggle, and every perseverance turn into blessings and answered prayers. He truly deserves it all. The success, the joy and the fulfillment of his dreams. Love, Your Father

 Ryan Jevne During this hard time, always remember that Christmas is all about the season, always remember having joy with friends and family. Love,         Sara & Trevor Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

  Steven, I want to go back to the night we met. I thought it was for all the wrong reasons. You took me in your arms and never looked back. They told me to take it slow and in a way we did, but only in your patience of me. I didn't have to tell you the lifetime of pain hidden behind my smile. I know when you look at me you can still see the scars. There are days you're still picking up the pieces of a heart you didn't break. I always thought it would take a heart of armor to love me but you shed all your defenses and loved each fragile part as though love was never meant to be a war. I didn't need someone to save me. I saved myself a long time ago. Yet you came into my life and completed a part of me I never thought I needed. I know I'm still learning to love me, but I will never take for granted all the moments you have loved me when I couldn't. I want to go back to the night we met. Only to ask you to kiss me sooner, because I never knew forever could be writ...

  Hey RyRy, I have a favor to ask you when you get home, could you come and pick me up at JB's please! Well love you, Love          Sandi then we go to Wal-Mart OK

  Ryan & Joy, Hey, I hope you guys will miss me! So I thought I would leave you guys something from me and it is just enough for you two to have some coffee and drink a cup for me. Ok, well, I love you guys and will miss you. I'm going to be gone for -4- days. Well have fun, call me sometime at my house, just make sure it's not after 10:30 pm. My home # 307-883-2771 so please call me. I'll try to call you. Love you, Love         Sandi Lyn

  My Best Friend, How many times were you unaware that I stared at you trying to find a way to make you see what our friendship means to me, and I just can't see why someone like you would be friends with me... I think I'm unpretty, but sometimes you make me realize what I see is not me... and that you love me and never want me to change. You gave me the friendship that only came to me in dreams, and now that it came true I don't know what to do except to be here for you. But when you move a great distance will come between us. One last kiss, one last smile, cause I might not see you for awhile. But our hearts will be close, a phone call away if you ever need me, that's where I'll be. Growing old, married, divorced or widowed. Whatever happens, there will always be a place in my heart set aside for this wonderful guy who was my best friend. The one who loved me for me. The one who taught me that looks aren't everything and that I am pretty.  I hope that now you ...

 Hello my sweet, Well I am hiding from you. I hope you can find me. I have missed you. I look forward to the weekend's so we can "run-a-muck" together. So start looking, and don't worry, Sandi will never know. I love you forever! Forever Yours, Margret!

  to my RyRy. Hey Hot Stuff! I hope you got some rest! And I hope you have a good night! I'll see you in the am, you're the best! XOXO Well enjoy! and don't forget you can eat! Love you. Love,             SANDI Cheeks  text me at four to make sure my lazy ass is up please :)

  Ryan, It seems that our lives are a journey. Each day we wake up knowing just waking up means we have another day to try and make a difference. Not really sure how or why. Thankful for what has happened so far, because everything changes our understanding of life and love.  You, beautiful man, inside and out, have made my life so bright. I'm proud of how you have been so open with me about your struggles. It makes me feel you trust me with your feelings. No judgment, just understanding that we each have lived our lives the best we could. I'm grateful that you have honored me with your love. I love you.  Tom

  At first sight I died, as you walked into my sight, I prayed to the Gods to make you mine. Then, meeting you for the first time with just one hand shake and a look into those mystical eyes, A true friend I hoped to find, Never knowing it might come true. Giving me butterflies with just one friendly hug,  And a kiss now and then, Helps me notice how lucky I am for once in my life I found, A true friend and with that, I hope it never ends.  To: Ryan Happy 23 Birthday Love, Sandi Lyn Wolfley

To: RYRY & JOE JOE, Hey you two!! How is you? Well I hope ya'll have a good night! Well, I have made the kittie some food! Could you please put it out for me?! Thank you a bunches, but could I get a wake up call @ 4:00? That would be great!! Oh if you get some time you should try my meatballs, there are 5 so ya each could have 2 and 1/2, so share. But I know you all don't like my cooking, but please try, I swear it won't kill you, most likely just give you a mad shooting poop, but you should be good! Or you could eat a burger or quiche. I know Joe you told me real men don't eat quiche so you both are ok, you can eat it. Heehee... kidding... Well, have a good night. Love, SANDI Cheeks 

To RyRy and Mandi!  Dear Ryan and Mandi! Hey you two hope you have a great night! Please feed the kittie, and Mandi Do Not Rape Sir Ryan!! If you could please give me a wake up call! Mandi hope you had a better day. Look at it this way, you do not have to work with Sid. Heehee... that's not nice.  Ryan, Margaret came by, said she will be hiding, find her... Well love you all. Love, Sandi Cheeks

 Ryan, I don't see how it's so easy for you to walk away from all the feelings you obviously have for me. I'll continue to feel everything for you I've always felt. I don't care. I love you anyhow. It is too late to turn you out of my heart. Part of you lives there. Jonah

  Hello my dear sir, sexy and snarky Ryan, Since I have only a few short weeks here with you, I thought I'd try my hardest to get to know you. We seem so alike, you and I. You seem fragile and broken, I feel I'm broken and fragile, too. You seem timid and afraid to open up and trust others, I am much the same. I see deep pieces of you that I see in myself, dark pieces that need a safe place to be shared. Believe it or not, I've read parts of your story and I have similar stories I could share with you, if you'd let me.  Here's hoping you'll let a similar heart help you open your own. Hayden Roarke

  RyRy, I don't want to let you go but I can only do so much! I pray all the time for you! I know God is doing a lot for you right now and I know what you are going through. Remember God gave His Son for us. What are you going to give God? Give up, give in, give all. RyRy, make sure you put on the armor of God so you won't be hurt in the battle of good and evil. 2 Timothy 2:22 I'm not deciding if you are going to hell or not but I'm trying to keep you out of it, once again I don't want God to say to my friends 'Be gone for I don't know you...' I love you and I wish I could do it for you, but I can't. I love you so much. Love,         SANDI if I had money I would get you something but I bought you all I could afford. Sorry I failed you as a friend. But I'm more sorry I failed God! 

  Ryan, You are invited to a BBQ/Pot Luck lunch to celebrate college graduation May 4th 2:00pm 1409 Cowboy Lane Behind Cemetery Come and enjoy food and good friends 855-2484 

  My Brother Ryan, You are not just my friend You are my Brother My closest family The joy you bring The time we shared Brought us close I never would have thought I could care so much With my broken heart You made it so easy So perfectly right Some how I feel You will be My friend, my Brother My closest family Forever! CV 1-14-03 This is just a little poem to let you know I care for you. You are a wonderful person and I hope we will always be close. It is a great feeling knowing I have you around to care for me. Your new Sister! Carolyn

  Ryan, Sandi, My God I miss you two! I'm wondering where you two are and what you two have been up to lately. I stayed in Lander for a couple days with Novara and learned a lot about how theaters work. I had fun. Anyways she was wanting to do something for New Year's. She & I may try to get some friends together to have a New Year's party at her place. Her place is between Hudson & Lander and quite safe from cops and bull shit. Her friends are way cool & I think you two would like them, they took to me quite well and you know what a pain I can be. Ha Ha! Ha Ha! Sandi, I have a late X-mas present. I saw it an thought of you. The rabbit is officially my car and as soon as I get a job I'll get it running so I can come out and see you two more often. I should learn how to drive a standard first though. I don't think that will take long for me to do. Hey, call me and I'll try to go out with you guys. I miss you two. My bestest friends in the world! In fa...

  I was here, now I am gone. Left my name to turn you on. To those who know me, know me well. Those who don't can go to Hell-O my baby. Carolyn & ? AT JB's 850-2844

  Ryan, I did not go to work, don't feel well but you can come & visit. Perhaps we can try to fix the VCR or find another one to use.  (7:50) I'll be up bout 1:00? Love,         Carolyn

  Ryan, I wish I could hug you every time you feel there is no one there for you, every time you're feeling down and every time the world feels too heavy. I may not always be beside you, but my heart is always with you. Tom ❤️❤️❤️

  Ryan, If Lindsey calls while I am gone tell her Amy & April say it is OK for her to crash here and they will try to get her a guest pass for those days. Amy gets off around 8:30 and Eric wants us all to go to Lander to party at Chris's place tonight. He is paying. Ask my Little Jap Boy if he wants to go w/ us. Love, ME

  Thinking of you! for my brother, not of blood, but of true heart your siss lots ❤️  Always,  Carolyn 

  Ryan, Call me soon! I have some good books for you to read, they have religious undertones, but they are very very good and uplifting. lots of love Mom  (Carolyn)

  Ry-Ry, Here is Carolyn's house key. I hope you will take it to her soon because I thought I'd send the key with a letter to you instead of waiting to get her address. I would have called her mom except I have to be careful with my minutes. So that led me to think that I should just go ahead & mail the key to you, so please, please get it to her soon. I thought I had taken the key out of my purse & left it there but it was in my pocket. Also, don't worry I'm not gonna be a pain in the neck calling. I know you're busy with school & work & everything else. I would like to know what happened w/ auditions though. But again, believe me I know what it's like to be busy, I'm seriously thinking of quitting my job. I'm going to have to next fall when I'm doing my internship because that's going to be 40 hrs a week just w/ that. Ryan I still don't know where I'm gonna go when I'm done here, it's kind of scary. I did have fu...

  Ryan, I feel I need to apologize for being mean yesterday w/ the song. I wasn't mad I just shouldn't have had that tude w/ you. Ryan, the old Amy is here & will always care about you no matter where you are or where I am. It is just taking me time to think there are those who are there for me the way Matt was. I'm trying to be independent and that comes out in that I shouldn't bother you guys w/ my problems or how I'm feeling. I wish you the best for the future, you deserve it. I will miss you if you are in Casper & I'm in Montana, but you know what? We can still keep in touch, it will be ok. W/ real friends distance doesn't really change anything. I needed to get those words out. I'm working on expressing myself better & writing helps. Plus I probably won't see you until this weekend & I wanted to apologize.  

Some fruit for my handsome man.     Good morning          Love you                T.

  Ryan, I'm writing this because there are a few more things I would like to say to you since you are moving. I would like to talk to you in person but you are very maturely not talking to me for the hundredth time in our friendship. I can not believe that you would want to leave things this way. Adults don't act the way you're acting. Don't worry, it's to the point now where I know I am making complete peace w/ the fact you aren't ever going to talk to me. You've made it clear by slamming doors in my face, while smiling. By hanging up on me. I am done trying to be your friend. I want to give these things you gave me back because I want no memory of you or our long friendship. It means so little to you so why should it mean anything to me? If you want to give some things back to me so you can completely forget, feel free. Ryan you know I can take comfort in the fact I was a good & giving person to you. I really do try to be a good person and friend almos...

  Ryan, I'm writing to you because I don't have Sandy's address & she won't talk to me anyway. I don't know what happened while I was there w/ you two, but it felt like you both didn't really want me there. Maybe not so much you, but I knew Sandy had a problem w/ me, though she couldn't tell me, she had to be two faced. I had thought her & I were past her hatred of me but was proved wrong. I called her to talk to her about this & she wouldn't at first, until I told her how I felt she didn't want me there. I know you feel torn & maybe don't know who to believe. I'm tired of caring who you believe anyway. I know I'm a better person than to do that to anyone. For the umpteenth time I didn't do a damn thing to Sandy's car. I can't worry about that anymore. It was hard to deal w/ when I was there. It's unnecessary drama, but I guess it will never end. Ryan I hope you know I'm not a 'lying little bitch...

  Dear Ryan, I am writing in hopes that you can move past any anger and we can be on good terms. I'll admit I've said things out of hurt and anger that I didn't mean. Ryan, I understand you want to leave this town and I support that. After everything I still care about you as a friend and your happiness. I hope you can go out and do what you want to do. And when you move on I would really like us to be friends and communicate. Ryan we have been friends for years (remember PE class) and I have good memories. I really don't want us to be on bad terms. I don't want to be hurt or angry anymore, but when you don't have anything do do w/ me it hurts. I don't know if this letter will do any good of if you hate me so much you can never move past it but I'm praying that's not the case. Again I am sorry for hurting you or being a pain in the butt. I never meant to and if you never talk to me again I still wish you the best. If by chance you do want to talk to ...

 Hello Brandonian, I know it's the weekend and you don't like being bothered. But I'm having issues with unreliable cashiers who don't want to be here and do their jobs. This has been a consistent issue that's recurring perpetually on the front end. There are no consequences for any of the cashiers, so this continues to happen. This doesn't just impact me and my ability to do my job, but it effects everyone, especially our customers. I'm asking that you please speak with one certain lad about his attitude and work ethic. He left for his lunch after being rude and dismissive, he called me a mother fucker as he walked out, stating he wouldn't be coming back. I feel I work too hard around here to be disrespected like that. I look forward to more grocery store shenanigans when I return from my vacation... Ryonian 

  Ryan, I don't know if you'll write back. I hope you will but this is the only way I know to keep in touch w/ you. Things are good here. My cousin moved out & took a lot, even the shower curtain, but that's ok I can't be mad for long, we are family. I'm looking for a different job so wish me luck. I'm excited about next school year already because I should be getting my Bachelors Degree in Social Work & I'm thinking about moving to Minneapolis w/ Nikky, getting a job & going for my Masters Degree, because Minneapolis is where one of the best graduate schools for Social Work is. I want to go back & visit in August before school starts, but I also want to visit Josh in Omaha, I didn't get to visit Nikky & that bummed me out so if I can't visit Josh I definitely will visit. I'll let you know or maybe I'll surprise everybody. Tell Heidi I said hi & I hope all is well, I really would like you to write back. Luv, Amy :) P.S...

 This is a thank you note. Thank you for being there. For saying I love you, When I feel hard to love. Thank you for being my friend, I know it isn't easy. Thank you for telling me I'm pretty, Even though I don't always believe you. Thank you for making me feel strong, When I feel weakest. Thank you for helping me see good, When I feel really bad. Thank you for never giving up on me, When I feel like giving up. For these things and more we are friends, Friends today, friends tomorrow, We will always be friends. Thank you Ryan

  Ryan, I know you think I'm smothering. The last thing you want right now is to see me, let alone get a letter from me. I want you to know I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt anyone. I'll admit I ask too much from you, it is too much to ask you to listen to me when you have other things to think about, it is very selfish of me. I hope I haven't asked for too many chances at reconciliation. I have known you for many years now & the friendship we have means so much just because it has lasted this long. It is because I think of you as such a good friend that I'd hate for it, our friendship, to be over. I'm not asking for sympathy or asking for anything in this letter, because I know I've asked too much from you as it is. I just want you to know I've been wrong, I really do see that & that things can be different. Also, honestly I'm tired of the he said she said bull. So having said that you can take what you want from this. I don't...

  Ryan, Thanks for being a friend who would love me no matter what. Even if I only had one arm. (ha, ha) I'm sorry I took so long to send you something back. I wanted to send Hershey's HUGS (ha, ha) but I wasn't sure if you would like them & so here's some money to buy whatever you would like.  I hope you know I still love you too. I'll be your friend when your hair and your teeth fall out. (ha, ha) I'll still be your friend when pigs fly. Lots of Luv always, Amy :)

  Ryan, I thought I'd write to you because it's nearly impossible to call you. I understand you are in school & have no phone & no wheels, I'm very proud of you for the school thing, I hope u are enjoying it. I'm doing well, still adjusting. I found a job at Pizza Hut, not the greatest but it's money & the people are nice. I work w/ a guy from Shoshoni & a cute guy named Patrick who makes me laugh. I've met a lot of my cousins friends & they all seem nice. We had a party & it was fun, she has a friend who reminds me of Josh, only straight - except he painted his nails - his name is Nate. I'm sending you a pic of my cousin, our puppy & trailer, it's nice. I'm hoping you will write back & send them back to me - I also have pics from Much Ado About Nothing. I might come for break in Oct. - it all depends on if I can't go to Minneapolis to see Nicky. My parents are moving to Douglas so I might have to see them. I'l...

  Ryan,  I'm writing because I haven't heard from you & just wonder why. I understand that you are busy w/ school again, maybe you don't have stamps & an envelope (so I sent an addressed envelope). I'm just asking for a response to my last letter. Also since being here I've given thought to how immature I used to be, and wanted to say now I truly understand how hard I used to be to deal w/, & you were great to still talk to me after some of the fits I threw. I have found a confidence in myself being here that I never knew I could have. It is a good thing & I would like to know how things are w/ you. I'm sorry things couldn't have worked out better when I was there but then I didn't have much control over that. If you are mad at me too you can tell me & I'll leave you alone, but I still would like to know. Hope everything is good. Your pal, Amy

  Ryan, Carolyn & I were thinking it would be fun for us to have some drinks Thur. night or tonight. You should call me from the payphone. ------> Please call even if it's to say you can't make it. We just think it'd be fun. Luv Always, Amy & Carolyn I love you son! MOM P.S. Shakespeare & Ryan Rule!

  Ryan, I am very sorry that, that picture made you think I was mad. It didn't have to do w/ you but w/ my own insecurities & how bad I feel about myself these days. I'm sorry about how me having trouble dealing w/ my situation right now ends up w/ you thinking I'm mad or you being mad at me. Ryan you have been a great friend & I want to thank you for being there as much as you have. I don't want there to be any tension or stress between us. I know lately I have caused there to be. I also know life is short & how friends can come & go. I will make a promise to you that I will enjoy life & think positive if you try to do the same. Ryan, I want you to remember that I will treasure our friendship & love you always. You mean a lot to me. Thank you again for being such a good friend. Luv always, Amy :) XOXO 

 Steven, I hope you remember me one day, and recall the love that we had. I hope you recollect me fondly, and maybe even miss me, if only for a moment. Because the love I had for you was pure, and the trust I put in you was great, and I don't even hate you for throwing it away. I don't even hate you for breaking me, because I know it broke you too. You were broken to begin with, and I just wish that you hadn't used me as an emotional crutch. I was worth more than that. I was and am a living, breathing human being, with a beating, compassion-filled heart, one that was prepared to accept you, imperfections and all. But it didn't work out, and we have both moved on, but I do still remember you. I could never forget a love like that, no matter how badly it ended. Ryan

  Ryan, I see you best when I'm asleep, where promises are mine to keep. You hold my hand and say you stay, and dawn does not steal you away. In waking life, you walk ahead, and I keep words I should have said. You smile at me but not for long, then fade into another song. In dreams you're mine, in truth you're gone, yet both feel real at break of dawn. I let you go a thousand times, but still you live in silent rhymes. Only in my dreams. Victoria 

You tried to make me sound like I was crazy, like you did all your exes. Now I understand why. You played on their hearts, like you did mine. You promised the world in forevers on wine stained lips. Then morning came and it was as if your soul had left your body to allow the demons to tell us that everything you ever said was never true. You spoke in two different languages, one that bound my spirit to yours and the other that had no remorse in the lies that came out of your mouth. Of course you feel crazy when one minute you're planning your life together, and the next not knowing why everything has felt like a lie. So this is my last goodbye.  Ryan

 Dear You, I need you to retain that same energy and distance you comfortably did when I was struggling. I need you to remember all the times I was there for you in your darkest hours and how you turned a blind eye to my world crumbling. I urge you to own your decision and lack of compassion and remain seated from a distance. I need you to understand I will never allow those who made me feel insignificant a seat at this table now that I have found my feet. I promise, I will never allow you back in. I do not hold space for the insincere. I do not have time for opportunists. My discernment has sharpened, and my conscience is clear. You chose detachment with confidence before everything turned on its head. Stick to your decision. I don't want anything you're offering now. You know who you are, Ryan

 Ryan, I needed to do something besides watch T.G.I.F. (now a depressing Campbell's Soup commercial is on.) So I decided to write you a note. (I'm also writing you one cuz you wrote me one too.) I'm so glad I have you to talk to when no one else is around. I'm sorry if I was complaining too much, it's just that I was really hurt by David being mad at me. (I absolutely hate it when anyone is mad at me & lose sleep over it.) Then Nikky saying how she wanted a break from me & she couldn't spend every minute with me. It made me feel unwanted, annoying & worthless. I don't know, maybe I'm too sensitive, do you think? I'm glad you're not sick of me yet & I'm so glad you stayed after Jeremiah left. I better go, hope to see you tomorrow.   Your friend,   Amy P.S. I'm a bear

 Sometimes I feel, that my words fall on deaf ears. Sometimes I feel, that you don't feel, how much I care. I know you are hurting,  it makes me hurt too. Please don't walk away. Don't turn from me, while tears threaten. I would never, walk away from you. To Ryan in hopes that he will let me in again

 Ryan, I'm writing just to let you know that I do care about you. I don't want to make you mad or anything. You say I haven't & I hope I don't. I just want to enjoy the time I have left to spend w/ everyone, that is all. I understand you are busy & stressed & I'm not trying to add to it. Because I'm busy & stressed also & I don't want to add to mine. So please remember I care about all my friends. And hope we can spend a little time together before I leave. Well that is all I have to say, I'll see you when I see you & take care.  Your friend always,     Amy :)

  Ryan, I know I've apologized for the way I acted last night & that you've accepted. I'm thinking I need to talk to a counselor or someone. I don't think I'm fully facing up to how much the loss of Matt has affected me. I thought I could handle it on my own, but maybe I can't. I don't want to put my friends that are around through what I did last night. You have been there but I know I can't ask so much from you. Just because I don't feel social right now doesn't mean you can't & you shouldn't be. You might not believe it but I don't mind you going out w/ other friends, it's good for you. If things don't get better by the time school is out I might have to go to Montana, but I don't know yet, I know I need time & thank you for bearing w/ me. Luv always  Amy :) 

 Ryan, Just saying hi. Call me sometime, sorry about last Sat.  :) - Amy (856-4985, just in case u forgot) 

 Ryan, Hey buddy! I was wondering if you know if you can go to Thermop on Friday. We are meeting @ Rae's house @ 11:00. Tell Mark if you can come, or give me a quick call. This will be one of the last trips together. The "Seniors Only" trip for the buddies of the class of '98. Especially since some of us are leaving in June. Well, gotta go.       Nancy

  Ryan, I'm not gonna be able to ask you this today cuz I have play practice and u work. But do you wanna go see Titanic w/ Mark & I tomorrow night? Please say yes. It will be the last weekend I'll be able to do anything for a while. I want you to come w/ us. I'll call tomorrow & see if you'll come. Please do. You can live w/ Mark for one night, & Titanic is supposed to be WAY cool. Talk to ya later,      Nancy

 Ryan, Hey buddy! I got to thinking, and I remembered last year's prom. I was scared because someone told me that they had stopped ordering flowers, and I hadn't gotten Eric's boutonnier. I went down with Rae, and we got it, but I'm not sure I would have if Sister Chris hadn't been there. But anyway, the point is that maybe we should do the flower part sooner. Can I take you to lunch tomorrow? The tux may take awhile, so we can do that on Saturday still. Will that work or not? Well, gotta go. Write back or talk to me or something. Love,       Nancy B. P.S. Don't be scared about prom. Everything will be great, and I promise not to eat you. I'm excited. You being my date, that means a lot to me. More than you realize.   

  Ryan, !Hola mi amigo! :) como estas? Estoy muy bien. Do you understand a word of this? Neither do I. J/K :) It says, "Hi my friend. How are you? I'm very well." Raelyn is very strange. But then again u probably already knew that. Rae says she's not, but we know the truth don't we.... AAGH! She's beating me UUU............ ok. I admit I lied Rae, now leave me alone!!! OK, I'll be serious. Um... I'm kinda lost about what to say. I'm not sure what to say. I guess it depends on what  you  meant, (in your note) but please promise me this, if I say the wrong thing, don't kill me, and don't hate me. First of all, I had way fun at the movies. It was a mega blast! We should do it again sometime. It was  way  fun. We should keep going on double, triple and quadruple dates, they're the coolest!  As far as your note, no, I do not think you are weird (at least not as far as I'm concerned, I'm probably weirder than you.) And if we keep goin...

  Dear Ryan, Um... I was a little surprised to get your note, after all the stuff you wrote me in U.S. History. But, I'm also happy. I hate it when people are either upset w/ me, or for some reason don't want to be my friend. Never be afraid to ask for forgiveness Ryan, it can only help you, and can only hurt the other person (if they are jerks.) Now, I want you to know this plain and clear. You have my full and honest forgiveness for any hurt you may have caused me or any wrong you may have done me. And yes, that includes  everything . I look forward to being your friend in the future. I'm also glad that maybe now you will deem me as one. However, I need to make one more thing clear. I have a boyfriend - more or less. I will not be dating you again. I don't know if that needed to be said or not, I just want to be totally honest w/ you, as true friends are. You probably don't want to anyway, but I had to tell you, so that you know that. I don't want to make you ...

  Ryan, I have a little problem. Let me tell you of two situations I have had or heard of lately. ~ When me, Mark, Bronwyn and Angela went to lunch on Monday, we went to Wendy's. When we were standing in line, Bronwyn and Angela turned to me and said, "You and Mark should go out, you make a cute couple." I said, "I think we are too good of friends." They said, "That's what works best. Just think about it." Needless to say (hopefully), I was VERY surprised and not knowing how to react I just shrugged and rolled my eyes. ~ My sister has library science w/ her friend Meghan 2nd hour. On Wednesday when I was sick Mark came in and was talking to them. All of a sudden he said, (supposedly), "Nancy likes me huh?" My sister told him (supposedly) on no uncertain terms that I didn't. Then he mumbled, (supposedly), something like, "I know, she just acts like she does." Then he left. Are you beginning to see my problem? Now, you could h...

 Dear Ryan J., There are some things I need to say, but please don't be upset by them. If I seem harsh or cruel I am sorry, that is not the way I intended to be, I just want to state my feelings. You need to know clear cut & for sure, exactly how I feel.  #1 - I do not love u as a boyfriend.  #2 - Never did I attempt to get u to ask me to Homecoming, (though there might be another Ryan in US History...) #3 - Though I do not love u, I do not hate u, and I want to be friends if that's ok. If not, just tell me & I'll ignore u the rest of my life. #4 - My grandfather passed away Friday, so if I've seemed upset it's not cuz I hate u, I'm just not having an easy time lately. #5 - I hate the thought of anyone wanting to beat on me. #6 - I hate the thought of anyone calling me a bitch. #7 - I like to face problems, so if they are stupid or untrue, they can be dealt with and put aside. #8 - I firmly believe that most rumors are not true and shouldn't be relie...

  Ryan, I don't hate the play, and I don't hate Kitty. Of course I'll come see it! I don't agree with the scenes that were removed, but hey, they were taken out right? I think it will be really good. I can't write much cuz I have to finish my summary. But I don't think you're a bad person just cuz you are in a play. I'm looking forward to seeing it. Nancy

  Ryan, !Hola! :) I'm sorry I didn't get a note to you sooner. I was going to write during Sacrament meeting but my mom kept trying to see what I was writing. It was really bugging me. Usually it wouldn't, but that time it did, so I didn't write very much (but my note was stupid anyway, so that's okay).  Um... uh oh, I'm rambling, or starting to. I better get to the point before you have to read twenty pages of junk that has nothing to do w/ anything. First of all, let's see... (I'm reading your note so that I remember to answer all your questions.) ...... Bob. Um, sorry to say this, but Bob is getting to be a real jerk. Big time. The truth is if he had asked me the same question, I wouldn't have known what to say either. So for me to tell u what u should have said wouldn't be very nice of me. I don't know if we are 'you know' but if you did ask, the answer would have three letters _ _ _, begin with a Y and end with a S, and have an E...

  Aloha! Isn't this beautiful? I ❤️ it here. Florida, California, this beats them all. If you ever decide to travel, this is the place to go. I just wanted to say hi, and thanks for letting me come with u guyz to Titanic. I enjoyed it, and didn't have to be a loner. See ya later, Nancy

  Ryan, Thanks for letting me borrow this. Sorry that it took awhile to return it. Yer Buddy,                 Nancy

  Ryan, !Hola! :) How is life going? OK here, but I am really tired. Oh cool! We have 3 Laurels! :) Rockin'! Um... I am not sure what to say. I feel like writing but I have no clue what to write. Let's see... Oh! I have to ask u something, but first I have to find out from my mom when I am going to Utah this week. I bought you a little stuffed elephant. I think he's cute, maybe I don't want to give him away and that's why I was so stupid and forgot him. I don't know. I got one for Mark, too (a dog), I'm not sure if he liked it or not. Rae, Ea, & Heidi likes theirs. But I guess if u don't like him u can give him to one of them. (I'll give him to you as soon as possible.) This is weird but I'm going to write what I'm thinking. Have u ever wished you could do certain things as well as someone else? Like giving compliments. Sometimes (a lot) I think them, but I'm just too shy to say anything. And other people say everything that comes to ...

  Dear Ryan, I just wanted to say Happy Birthday. How does it feel to be eighteen? I guess I'll know in about, what 5 days, 4? Whatever, as I was about to say, I hope your day is good, and good luck on those play try outs this afternoon. I hope you get a part you want. Your Buddy,                 Nancy 

  hey Love! Will you take my paperwork in too please? It's all here and signed. I Love You! ~ Katie

  hello Love! Hope you slept well! I ran out of time, but if you want to pack us salads that would be great!  Love you!

  hey Love! if you come to town around 1-1:30 I can go with you to see Joie. Just a thought. Love You! - Katie

  hey Love, I hope you're feeling better  I love you! XOXO - Katie

Dear Ryan, I can only give you love that lasts forever, and the promise to be near each time you call. And the only heart I own for you and you alone, that's all, that's all... I can only give you country walks in springtime, and a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall. And the love whose burning light will warm the winter's night, that's all, that's all... There are those I am sure who have told you, they would give you the world for a toy. All I have are these arms to enfold you, and a love time can never destroy. If you're wondering what I'm asking in return, dear, you'll be glad to know that my demands are small. Say it's me that you'll adore for now and evermore, that's all.  That's all. I love you. Katie Jean

 RY  I ran the dishwasher, so it should be all clean and ready to use for dinner KJJ

 " Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been." ~ Mark Twain Wrinkles always come with a few gray hairs, and I know you've given me plenty of both! :) You know you are the best thing that has ever happened to me! I want you to know that you did great! I like You! ~ Katie Krammer

  You are the Light of my Life! XOXO  hey honey! I hope you are enjoying your relaxing day off! Sorry if I get lost in my projects, let me know if you need a little attention! * wink wink * I love You! ~ your Kitty kisses to you luv!

  have a fantabulous day my sweet! You mean the world to me and I will be happy forever because I am with you! Love You Forever! ~ Katie Bug  🌻 

 MORNIN' 🌞 SUNSHINE! I had to go home & call the store to see if they need me & to explain why my car is still there. LUV YA! See ya when you wake up. Katie 

  good morning my Love! there is a yummy Orange Julius smoothie in the fridge. I hope you have a good day. Don't feel like you have to go to work today, we'll be fine. I will be working til dinner or later though, so you might get bored. I love You! XOXO ~ Katie Kitty 

  Hello My Love! I made this card for you a long time ago and I lost it. I found it when I was organizing my music stuff at school. You'll probably get it while I'm there, but by mail is better! I love You! Love,             Your soon to be Wife!

  hello handsome! I will probably be home around 11 today & I was hoping we could go to the bank, deposit that check & start a savings account. :) I love you more everyday, thanks for being you! Love,             Katie Bug

hello my dearest! I am going to get Sarah and stop by Aldi for some Airborne. If there is anything else you want me to get, call me. I was thinking Shrimp stir-fry, rice and egg rolls w/ the elders tonight. I told them pick up @ 6:30 if that's ok. I love you! I don't know where I would be without you & I am so glad you're with me! XOXOXO  ~  Kitty

hey Love, I tried to make cinnamon rolls, but, as usual, I screwed up the dough, so I improvised. You don't have to eat any, but I think they taste alright. :) Love You! Katie Bug

To My Handsome Prince Dec 15, 2009 My Dearest Love!  Merry Christmas! There is so much I wanted to give you, but there was always something that prevented it. I had planned on getting you a new Sonicare toothbrush at Target, & I'm sorry that didn't work out. I'll give you the coupon though & as soon as we can, you can get one! I also wanted to surprise you with the new DVD/VHS Recorder, but that fell through as well, so I'm terribly sorry that at this point I haven't been able to buy you anything. I will promise you this though, I have more love for you than could fill a thousand department stores! You are an absolutely amazing husband & I truly thank the Lord for you! We have had some struggles and some challenges, but these past five and a half years with you have been the best of my life. I don't know how I got so lucky as to have you as my husband! (I know I don't deserve it!) You are my Angel! Merry "Kissmas" Love! ~ Katie XOXOXO

 I have this uncontrollable, insatiable craving for your body... BURP! XOXO MAKIN' COFFEE I ❤️ U! Luv - Me!

 Rest well... and please feel better soon. I wish there was more that I could do! ~ Katie J. Krammer 

  i love you Ryan 💋  Hugs and kisses to my dearest love! ~ Katie XOXO

 Dear Ryan, How are you? I'm fine. I'm glad you are Star of the Week. Miss Brown did good on a choose for Star of the Week. I think you are really funny. I don't have much to say but have to fill the page. Well, when you get your Star of the Week letters, you get a free Taco Johns. Well, I better be going now. Bye, Bye. Your Friend, Kylee Gold

I believe in you.  I believe in the way that you are and the way you will be. I believe in the things that you say. You mean the world to me. And if you should go, If you should turn around one day, If you should ever doubt your dreams in any way... Don't think twice about it. Don't worry too long about whether you'll find a place for yourself in the world. You belong! I know that you'll get where you're going someday. For no matter what happens, You'll find a way. I believe in the way that you are and the way you will be. You are a shining star in this world... And you mean the world to me. K.J.K.

I just wanted to say that I am proud of you! I am proud that you didn't back out when you were scared, & I am proud simply to be close to someone so talented. I know you weren't, and probably still aren't sure if you wanted this part, but all I can say is no one could do it better! You have such an amazingly beautiful voice. So many people came up to me (& I am sure you too) telling me what a great voice you have! I hope this show opens up new doors for you! I hope it helps in this puzzle we call life, to guide you in some way. Everything happens for a reason, so enjoy life as it comes! You are amazing & I am so glad you are part of my life right now, you are meant to be!  I love you! Katie Jean

I wanted to say thanks for putting up with me and for doing the little things you do for me! (like bringing me a drink at work!) I know it gets stressful here, but don't lose hope! You will get out of here before too long. Then when you look back, it will seem so much easier to think of all the good memories, that crazy enough, I bet you'll miss this place! I know I will! So hang in there, and if there is anything I can do to make the bad days a little bit better, let me know! You are my favorite! Love,  Katie

You're The Apple of My Eye! 8-20-06 Ryan, Hello Handsome!  Thank you. thanks for being there for me when I need you. thanks for saying the right things. thanks for a million or more wonderful memories. thanks for understanding my ups and downs. thanks for the afternoon naps. thanks for the late night talks. thanks for the snuggles and hugs. thanks for the laughs. thanks for the tears. thanks for the smiles. thanks for you! love, Katie

 Ryan,  I hope that if a love like ours ever finds you again, may the world let it be someone who loves you as deeply as you loved me.  With someone who is never alright with hurting you. Someone who is loyal, kind & devoted. Someone who will never make you feel unwanted. Someone who feels like home & also finds home in you. You deserve that.  I'm sorry I never found that with you.  Stay close to those who feel like home. Brian